I believe I’ll believe

…the curveballs of my life.

Sometimes life throws a most unexpected curveball.  What’s absolutely fascinating about the curveball is, they look like they’re going to hit and hurt, but they rarely do.

As I rock along in life, things can get monotonous and tedious.  I think everything’s going to stay this way forever.  So I get up, work, shower, eat, blah blah blah.  Rinse.  Repeat.  Again.  It’s amazing how fast I slide into this “status quo”.

What I fail to remember, unless I make my brain focus, are the curveballs of my life.  I haven’t always stood in the batters box when these things come sailing in about to hit me and hurt:  I’ve jumped out plenty of times.

When I’ve managed to stay in that box, stare that curveball all the way in and believe in spite of it, genuine miracles have occurred.  One that immediately comes to mind is when my sons dad lost his job (yes this has been a while ago).  I saw the curveball coming and stood firm;  I believed that something better was coming and that everything would work out better than expected.  He had a small severance, and a couple of weeks of vacation.  Within 6 weeks he was offered another job, with about the same responsibilities and a higher salary.  The entire 6 weeks, it was work to wake up everyday and believe.   It would have been much easier to wring my hands and worry, and fret over it.  But I didn’t.  I fought every day to believe.

I moved 3 states away from my sons about 11 years ago.  I had no intention of returning.  I found out later that my youngest son did not accept that and chose to believe I was coming back.  In case you haven’t read anything previous, I did come back 2 years later.

A couple of years ago, someone I love dearly, left for another state more than 1000 miles away.  They explained that they would not return.  I was heart broken, but I knew it was their decision.  I was in an emotional fog for the first 48-72 hours.  I couldn’t think, all I could do was cry.  While walking the 3rd day they were gone, crying and pouring my heart out in prayer and meditation, a profound calmness descended on me and “they were coming back” was what I chose to believe.  Everyday was a struggle to stand back up because that curveball seemed like it was going to hit HARD!  6 weeks and 2 days later,  the someone who had left, stopped by about lunch time and said hey.

Now, in light another curveball with someone I deeply love, I believe I’ll believe.

I believe Dancing While Believing is the truth for my life, my soul, my heart.

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